EastEnders Alternative

Tuesday 11th August

2009-08-13T02:38:00.001-07:00

The night of the speed dating event was here. The company organising it had pulled out due to Peggy not drumming up enough interest. So it was down to Peggy, to drum up interest, as she decided to run the night herself. Couldn't she have just done that before? No.

Eligible bachelor Ricky was tingling with excitement following his Tarot card reading from Myopic Mo, while Roxy's 'Punch With A Punch' was being over spiked with booze, in one of many slapstick moments. So how did Peggy do? Who can Ricky expect to join him for a night of fun, frolics and possible romance?

Well firstly there's his ex wife, mother of his children, Bianca. Then there's batty Jean Slater and her equally off the wall daughter Stacey, in a double whammy to test the nerves of even the most desperate of lonely hearts. Next is local doctor Al Jenkins, who is tricked by an emergency phone call into turning up at the pub and forced to take part. Then sisters from Hell Ronnie and Roxy Mitchell, with ex-lover of both and father to just one of their children, Jack Branning. Making up the numbers for this impending night of terror are the winker from the cafe, Luke, and Dot's almost lodger, the randy bow tie wearing Mr. Lambert. And that's about it. If Ricky can't pull tonight, he's ready for the scrapheap.

Away from speed dating. Janine showed the first signs that she's human since the time she told the truth about carving her name in the wall as a child. I won't explain it any further, as I don't want any one to start giving a damn about this tart without a heart. She explained to a clueless Ryan why he should be investing more time with his sister, by telling him about her relationship with pervert Tony.

So, apparently being her brother and not being a twat about it, is not reason enough, need to use the whole 'abused as a child' method to encourage him to spend time with her.

After his seemingly stressful day yesterday, in which he had an almost showdown with Ryan, Ian was on a day off. He had an "appointment" with a sun lounger and a long drink. Though what he failed to add, was that it included Sade's Greatest Hits. With a brightly coloured cocktail and a safari hat, Ian relaxed in the backyard as Smooth Operator played on his stereo. What a guy.

It was only a day after Dot had put a card up advertising her backroom, but already she had interest. To entice people to rent, she'd baked some fairy cakes, made some fresh coffee and smoked a couple of fags. Hoping the aroma's would take their minds off seeing Wednesday Addams at the top of the stairs as they walk in. First up was red haired, beardy Mr Crab. Then the randy Mr. Lambert, who received a clip round the ear from Mrs. Branning.

Final failed candidate was a young girl, not too dissimilar in style to Bradley's ex Stacey, who Dot dismissed as a girl who would probably have a lot of paying customers. Nice. The fun was to end abruptly though, for the viewer, when Dot revealed that Liz Turner was to be her new lodger. When will she ever go home?!

At the Slaters, Mo caused a scene when she was caught holding a sexy corset up against son-in-law Charlie just as Brenda walked in. But fair play to Brenda, she held out for a better reason to dump Charlie, his blowing skills. Yes, Charlie had spent the whole of yesterday afternoon practicing blowing his own trumpet. A whole afternoon, Charlie doesn't do things by half. Apparently it takes a bit longer than a few hours though and after a painful rendition of, something, Brenda told him it wasn't working out. Following her out in the street, Mo, who had gone to great lengths in the past to split the pair up was suddenly in aggressive cupid mode and forced Brenda to reveal she was in fact emigrating.

Ian is still sunbathing in the garden, this time with Your Love Is King playing. His afternoon is ruined by Tiffany and Liam, who Ryan has decided to take out with Whitney, arguing over a plastic ball. Snatching the ball from them, Ian returns in full baddie mode with a deflated ball. "Not laughing now are you." He says to the small child. Legend.

At Pat's, Ricky is ready for his dates and ready to beat Bianca, who believes she can do better than him. While getting ready, Bianca has enough time to deliver one of her parenting masterclasses, where she puts down her daughter Whitney and then turns the conversation around to her in order to receive praise and adulation.

The speed dating event finally came around. Janine was there, despite being barred, to laugh at the sad people. Stacey was on the medication and the booze.

Doctor Al was on call. Jean was on another planet. But to Peggy's credit the night was a success. Roxy got groped by Mr. Lambert. Jack stuck the knife in and told childless Ronnie he was most proud of his daughters, one of which was her niece and Bianca went for a poo. Oh, and barman Billy kept sampling the punch and ended up passing out. Wahey!

The episode ended with Bianca discovering her and Ricky had been matched. Considering the other dates, it was hardly surprising was it.

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Monday 10th August

2009-08-11T06:15:00.000-07:00

This week in Walford started with the news of a Speed Dating night in The Queen Vic. The idea filled Ricky with pessimism, but Ronnie was on hand with a friendly smile to coax the cabbie into signing up. However Dawn's hints at Ronnie finding herself a man were met by her icy cold stare and sharp tongue.

After helping her out last week, Whitney was keen to return the favour by befriending Lauren Branning. In a rare moment of social classes and stereotypes being thrown out the window, Lauren accepted Whitney's offer of friendship and the pair went in search of a DVD to watch.

Whitney's brother Ryan soon turned up and this time she was more than happy to reveal to her new best friend that he was in fact her sibling and not her friend.

Suddenly, as Ryan turned, he clashed with Ian, who seemed to be in a rush. The pair not only exchanged words, but glances too.

Is this the start of a new feud? Whitney, constantly impressed by her brother, thought it was the funniest thing she'd seen all day. Lauren however was not so sure.

"He's alright when you get to know him." She said of her boyfriends father.

At Janine's flat, Ryan literally dropped the girls off before heading out once more. Promising Whitney he'd be back soon. After some time sat on the sofa and after Janine had left them alone to go to Dawn and Garry's engagement party, Whitney began to seek out some "fun". The fun inevitably led to alcohol and considering Janine regularly attempts at getting free drinks in the pub, she does like to keep her cupboard well stocked. Feeling let down by Ryan and having her tongue loosened by her self titled cocktail 'Whitney's Wobbler', Whitney soon began to talk about Tony.

"He gets me." She tells Lauren, before asking if she ever thought of what he tried to do to her. Lauren pulled no punches and reminded Whitney just what Tony was like. Rather than fly off the handle, Whitney conceded that she shouldn't have brought up his name and apologised to Lauren. This was a nice moment of a blossoming friendship between the two and suggests Lauren has gained Whitney's respect.

In the cafe Bianca and Heather discussed the flyer for the Speed Dating night that had been put on the notice board. Bianca was both shocked and clearly disappointed to hear that "My Ricky" had signed up. On a side note, Heather seemed completely happy to talk about the prospect of Ricky finding "Miss Right", which surely crosses him off the list of potential fathers to her baby.

Also in the cafe, Dot and granddaughter Dotty aka Kirsty (but Dot doesn't know that), sought refuge after discovering their toilet was blocked. Too skint, as Dotty put it, to go to the cinema and concerned with the cost of a plumber, Dot reluctantly wrote out a card advertising a room to let. The room is of course the one she's been doing up ready for Jim's return and so she did this with a great sense of desperation. Anyone who remembers the money Bradley gave her, it's still under the sink and she seems to have no intentions of using it right now.

Ronnie called Joel and invited him to Dawn and Garry's party.

Despite them both having a connection, Joel has a hard time remembering all these perfect memories Ronnie seems to have of their youth. Ronnie, clinging to her childhood, is definitely causing Joel to have second thoughts about having her back in his life, especially since the intimidating Mr Mitchell is always towering over them watching on.

Archie also turned up at the party, as it was an open invitation you see. Like an unwanted vampire with an invite, Archie strode into the middle of an empty dance floor as everyone watched in anticipation. Dawn urged Garry to ask him to leave, but Hobbs wasn't prepared to get involved. After all, he'd already escaped the wrath of one Mitchell recently, no need to push his luck.

Archie had come with a bottle of wine he'd purchased earlier in the day. Which doesn't seem that out of the ordinary, except when you remember what he had on his drinks counter on Thursday, when he and Roxy threw a party that nobody came to. I know Roxy can put it away, but I can't believe there wasn't one bottle left from the stash that Archie couldn't have brought with him.

Elsewhere on the square, Dot and Heather's boss Mr. Opodopolous turned up unexpected and unrevealed as the camera ensured we never saw his face.

Heather, running full speed round Walford trying to find Mrs Branning, seemed to forget she was pregnant and not only did several laps, but did it on an empty stomach.

And Mo took her plan to fleece the people of Walford with Tarot Card reading a step further by getting into costume and setting up a gazebo in the middle of the square. An increasingly optimistic Ricky was a perfect sucker for Mo's mumbo jumbo, as he looked for a sign that the Speed Dating night would go well for him. After clumsy Ricky knocked down the tent, Mo was forced to return to the pub where Phil had previously banished her. There she gatecrashed Charlie and Brenda's date by demanding her son-in-law not only pay for her services, but buy her a drink as well.

Ryan, torn between monitoring Ronnie's date Joel and keeping an eye on his landlady Janine berating his sister, opted for the former. Laying into Bianca, as Whitney was slumped over the table drunk, he reminded her she was her responsibility and that he barely knew her.

To discuss this episode and the characters, please check out the forum and let us know your views. Find us at EastEnders Alternative.

The Return of Sam Mitchell

2009-08-10T09:28:00.000-07:00

BBC Three are to show a one hour special to welcome the return of Sam Mitchell.

After hearing the news back in April that Diederick Santer was to re-re-cast the character with original actress Daniella Westbrook, this will be the first time viewers will have seen the character since 2005. And the first time Daniella Westbrook has been seen since she left Walford in 2000.

For both Sam and Daniella it will be a nervous return for sure. This is the fourth time Daniella Westbrook has been given the chance to work at EastEnders, following revelations of drug abuse throughout the 90s that led to her dismissal on a number of occasions. Some fans may say that one off Sam Mitchell actress Kim Medcalf should remain in people's memories as Peggy's youngest child. Whether you believe Westbrook deserves another run in the show, something else that bothers viewers is the plausibility of the character being able to show her face in Walford. Because although Daniella Westbrook may be worried about her performances and winning people over, her character Sam will be more worried about Walford's police force spotting her working behind the bar of The Queen Vic.

Sam was last seen in 2005, when she was wrongfully charged with the murder of Den Watts. After police discovered that Chrissie Watts was the real killer, they decided to charge Sam with perverting the course of justice. Fearing that she may have to spend several years in prison, Sam fled England to go and live in Brazil where she has been hiding ever since.

What emergency, tragedy or celebration forces Sam to return is unknown and how she can live in Walford is another mystery. Hopefully we'll be given a few teasers throughout this documentary, which follows Daniella around the EastEnders set on her first days back on the job.

You can see how the actress handles being back on set on Friday 11th September at 8:30pm on BBC Three.

If you'd like to discuss the return of Sam Mitchell, please check out our forum and share your views - EastEnders Alternative.

Friday 7th August

2009-08-08T08:13:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Walford - Joel Reynolds!

Cavan Clerkin's character Joel Reynolds made his full debut in this episode. To greet him was not only eye-rolling, lip-licking Janine, but the Walford Welcoming Committee too.

Firstly, his business meeting with Janine was cut short by the barmaid turning out to be his old girlfriend Ronnie Mitchell. She brought them Champagne, which she then smashed on the floor.

If that wasn't confusing enough for poor old Joel, his client was then quickly thrown out of the pub without warning.

In the back, Ronnie and sister Roxy tried to figure out who was playing what and indeed just what they were playing at.

Before they could come back out to the pub, Joel had already realised he was not welcome in The Vic. So much for the Walford Welcoming Committee. The door was kindly held open by Phil Mitchell, as the lunchtime drinkers of Walford watched with a sense of utter contempt for this poor accountant.

At The Foxes it was just as busy as The Vic. Lucas was dressed to impress for a managers position at the Community Centre and then came the "return" of Liz, again. You can hear the Foxes collectively shouting in their heads 'Oh for fucks sake, what now?' every time that mad red barnet comes looming around the door. Liz had come to tell Libby she was going back to Spain....because it's her home. I know, it's some kind of crazy logic only the people of Walford could understand.

More Walford Logic came from the constantly pleased with herself, Trina.

She'd come to drop son Jordan off for a few days. Yes, drop Jordan off with his father Lucas, so that she could go and put in motion her divorce from Lucas and sort out moving house to be nearer Lucas, so that she could then take Jordan back with her so that he can live closer to his father who his mother has just divorced, making things easier for everyone. If you say so. Apparently this won't be a problem for Lucas and Denise who now have a green light to start planning their own wedding.

With Lucas being pulled in different directions, it fell to straight talking Denise to point him in the direction of the Community Centre. The unusually quiet panel allowed Lucas to talk and talk, take a call on his phone, apologise and leave without uttering a word. We discovered later on that they were going to offer him the job anyway, which suggests they let him ramble on for their own amusement.

After drinking as much as possible during the lunchtime party at The Vic, Garry and Dawn returned to the flat. Dawn showcased her child rearing skills by clutching on to a baby monitor. She likes it because she can pretend it's a mobile phone.

Garry revealed his concern that setting the date of their wedding, on the anniversary of Dawn's previous wedding to the late Jase Dyer might be too soon. Nah, not too soon, just a bit creepy. Jase's son Jay is due a freak out, this would be right up his street.

Fed up with people knocking them and fed up with hearing Phil's name, Dawn suggests they move away from Walford once they're married.

Garry takes this idea to Minty at the Arches. "I can't do lunchtime drinking any more." says Garry the mechanic. Then don't. Garry asks Minty if he'd be interested in selling him his half of the boat for his half of the flat. "Get real, son." says Minty. "You won't get past Canvey Island." "You get real!" replies Garry.

I wish someone would get real.

The closest any one came was when Ronnie wonderfully put Janine on the spot and asked her just what her problem with her was. After all, if you did kill someones daughter, accidentally or not, the last thing you want to do is upset them any more. Unless you're the constantly pleased with herself Janine.

Janine, of course, struggled to come up with a reasonable reason. The best being that she was fed up with the Mitchell's. And they've certainly had enough of her as Archie gave her the chilling warning that "People have got hurt for doing a lot less than you've already done."

Someone who thought they had the right end of the stick was Tanya.

After being handed a stray earring by Lauren, which was found in Max's car, she was certain Max was cheating on her again. What Tanya didn't know was that out on the market, Lauren and boyfriend Pete Beale had found the earrings being sold on one of the stalls.

After giving Whitney fashion advice, the pair learned that she had dropped it after she took part in stealing Max's car for a little joyriding.

Realising her mistake, Lauren invented a story about Peter buying her the earrings as a present and dropping one in the car when he was cleaning it. This also means that Whitney's brother Ryan, who she referred to as a mate, can remain secret.

Tanya, feeling stupid but justified in her assumptions, reminded Max it was their wedding anniversary. Out of nowhere Max produced a gift wrapped box from his dressing gown, told Tanya she should have come upstairs when he told her, got dressed up and presented Tanya with "two tickets to that show". Has everything been resolved in under 5 minutes? Or does Tanya still worry about whether she truly trusts Max, even if he's done nothing wrong.

Elsewhere Ronnie and Roxy continue to work at The Queen Vic and do their best to ignore the fact they have a nightclub to run. And the final scene of the week was Owen, who I never believed had changed, just got a different type of crazy, telling his mother he will never rest until Denise and Libby forgive him. I look forward to his showdown with Lucas the Ninja Preacher.

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